http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d27gTrPPAyk
Manners maketh man
IS CHIVALRY dead? I asked a group of women over dinner. The question provoked responses that were invariably electric, zealous and anecdotal.
Generally speaking, yes, chivalry is dead, or at least mortally wounded. You do catch very rare glimpses of it, but nowadays, the tipped hat has been knocked askew. Chivalry is as much in style as a pair of mustard-coloured thermals.
But the tragic thing about the demise of the decorous hat-tipping, arm-offering, fox-trot-dancing, car-door-opening breed of man is that we women only have ourselves to blame.
I have lost count of the number of men who have despondently explained why they no longer open doors, give up seats, automatically walk on the "accident and puddle"-prone side of the road or fight duels to the death with pistols over our honour, and all the other little chivalrous touches that used to make life so wonderful.
The reason: some Germaine Greer channelling, bra-burning "feminazi" scolded them for offering to help with her bags, or gave them an earful of abuse for insisting on paying for dinner.
Many men are afraid of engaging in chivalrous niceties for fear of being labelled a domineering chauvinist pig - or worse, a conservative.
Don't get me wrong, I admire my foremothers for fighting against discrimination, but gender differences should be celebrated. In other words, men must begin again to act like men, women like women.
I, for one, am sick of men barbarically shoving me out of the way, banging doors in my face and blatantly ignoring my quandary as I stand on the bus staggering and flushed like an alcoholic, while they keep their rears squarely planted in their seats.
However, I do feel genuinely sympathetic towards the modern man, because he has received such mixed signals in this post-feminist era and he can no longer be sure how a woman wishes to be treated.
Feminism in many ways complicated otherwise simple gestures, and the bedrock of manners and etiquette began to crack. Men just didn't know what to do any more.
It doesn't help that bootylicious babes such as Destiny's Child croon about being independent women, singing "I buy my own diamonds, and I pay my own bills" and then in their subsequent song reveal that, despite being stand-alone women, they still ultimately want a soldier: "I need a soldier that ain't scared to stand up for me, they wanna take care of me."
